Early Christmas Present Advice

Have you ever considered the "Holiday Season Circle"? No? Well, don't worry, I just made it up. Consider this: On Thanksgiving we think about what we have, on Christmas we think about what we don't have, and on New Year's we think about losing all we've gained since Thanksgiving. I'll be here all week folks.

So on to the title of this entry, Christmas? I'm going to talk about Christmas, and not just Christmas but presents? I know, I know, I have been pushing back against Christmas for some time, attempting to stay in the spirit of thanksgiving. But allow me to provide a little humor, a little advice for the gift givers. After all I'm sure we've all received some gifts that would have been better left on the shelf.

1. Don't give taffy to a man with dentures. That just isn't nice.

2. Nobody and I mean nobody likes a fruitcake. If you've sent one, chances are you got the same one back the next year.

3. Anything you purchased from an infomercial at 3:00 in the morning, probably not a good gift.

4. Don't buy household chemicals for Christmas, save that scented bleach for a real special occasion, like a birthday.

5. Unless she asks for it, don't buy cleaning aids. That vacuum cleaner sure looks good, but unless she has her eyes on it, don't. You're just not sending a good signal.

6. Self-help books are a no-no at Christmas.

7. $5 "grab bag" CDs? Just say no.

8. That fruitcake that Aunt Carrol sent you last year? Don't regift it, just throw it away already. It's been a year! (The only exception is sending it back to Aunt Carrol as a gentle nudge. Be warned, you may just start a fruitcake war, in which case you will get it again next Christmas.)

9. Don't give Grandma a digital device she can never use, unless you want to be on the phone with her every other day telling her where the power button is.

10. Nobody wants sugar free cookies on Christmas. If they are healthy don't send them.

Just a few helpful hints for those Christmas gift givers out there.